Nervous Newbie Cheatsheet

Right around this time in August I was chewing my nails and drinking what I thought would be my last glass of wine (wrong, so wrong!) and looking over every email that Sam had sent me (and reading it again, and again) scouring to see if there was anything I’d missed that I absolutely had to know before starting my workout tomorrow. I wanted to know everything and I wanted to know it NOW. But truthfully, I just needed a good dose of calm-the-fuck-down-girlfriend because I already had the most important thing I needed. My determination. I had made the decision to start.  Anything that wasn’t perfect would get sorted. And don’t worry. It will. It’s about progress not perfection. The team are all over any sort of support you need, and when they’re busy – being busy and important – you’ve got us, Your 28 Facebook Family. Someone is on the site 24/7 because clever-clogs Sam has created a global business. The world never closes.

Having said that…here’s a few things I reckon you’re just DYING to know.

SLIDERS. What the hell are they?

Unfortunately these aren’t three little burgers neatly lined up with matching beers. No those days are gone my friend…well…they’re fewer and more far between anyway. Sliders are some new-fangled fitness thing that all the cool kids seem to think are good for core strength and balance and blah, blah, blah… And you know what? They’re bloody well right. Fitness Sliders are plastic plate type things that you put your feet or hands on to help you to slide on carpet when doing certain exercises…like THIS ONE. Kind of like Twister in socks…but not.

xr-slide-padsNow I raced out and ordered those puppies online quick smart because woo-hoo look at me and my fancy-schmancy new fitness equipment that I just had to get because – perfect. Ha ha…jokes on me…I can’t even use the bloody things.

Anyway…check them out here or buy some cheaper furniture sliders from Bunnings or use plastic plates, baking trays, baking paper or plastic bags. No-one cares.

Use what works for you. Or use nothing. You’re still cool. You’re a 28-er now.

WEIGHTS. What sort? How heavy? What colour?

You’ll be using small hand weights (or “resistance” as those professional sports spunks say, whatevs, they’re talking about dumbbells). You can use anything heavy-ish that you can hold in your hand. Like a can of soup, or beans or your dignity. Some very smart 28-er who was holidaying in some sandy tropical location even suggested filling up water bottles with sand while she was away. GENIUS. See…you too can be that smart after a few days on the 28 program!

Anyway, if you simply have to have it perfect (and seriously, why wouldn’t you), go to K-Mart, Target or your favourite department store and spend $10-$15 on a set of hand weights. 1kg – 5kg. They have them in the sports section…apparently, I wouldn’t know, I never get past the confectionery aisle.

CHAIR. To stand or sit?

In some workouts Sam says you need a sturdy chair. And he’s 100% correct – as we’d hope he would be. This is to step up onto, or lean on or squat against. I use an IKEA stool because my household chairs are crap.

MAT or comfy ground?Screen Shot 2016-09-04 at 5.16.33 PM

Totes don’t need a mat if you have soft carpet. But I bought one after two weeks and love myself sick. Rolling it out at 6.15 every morning is part of my ‘pray to Sam’ ritual.

Use one or don’t totes up to you.

What EXERCISES will I be subjected to?

Screen Shot 2016-09-04 at 5.21.52 PMThey’re all very tricky and you need to be quite bendy…ha ha…no. There’s a handy link on your menu bar on the website that shows you videos of ALL 200,000 Samercises …Ok, so there’s not that many, but there feels like it. That boy mixes things up a lot. You’ll also see a short summary of the equipment you’ll need under each workout video on each day and, top right of the same page, you can hit preview and it will give you a list. Neat hey? Told you. These 28-Crew people are all over it.

WHAT TIME is it?

You can do your workout whenever the heck you like. It unlocks at midnight on the night of the day (I think, I’m never up that late, and if I am, I’m busy trying to get a small human to go the fuck to sleep!). The time on your workout is just a guide to help keep you committed. If you don’t make your selected time you can just reschedule OR do it whenever you like in that day. The site won’t lock you out, it won’t self-destruct and no-one will knock on your door like the annoying Census collectors asking why you haven’t done it.  (Apologies to Census collectors, I know you have a job to do…if only our Government had done their job properly the first time.)

And that’s all I got for ya’ on a Sunday night before D-Day. Where D stands for the ‘Damn Fine Shape’ that you’ll be in after 28 days with Sam. Trust me on that. He knows his shit.

PS – a really helpful email to know is – those professional fitness spunks are actually qualified to answer any concerns you have and aren’t just, you know, amusing themselves by writing a blog about it. They’ve got much more important stuff to do! 


19 thoughts on “Nervous Newbie Cheatsheet

  1. Great stuff, Kim. I’ve just signed up after seeing your posts on my Facebook feed (thanks for the inspiration). And you’ve read my mind here…These are all the questions I wanted to ask! Wish me luck – and hope Round 2 is great for you.

  2. My shopping trolley today was so bloody full. And what the heck is lambs lettuce. I think all of Melbourne took the fennel seeds cause there were none left for me. I’m excited to get started. Thanks for the tips.

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