My goal in joining this program was pretty simple. That’s right GOAL. Singular.
Just don’t quit.
I’m an excellent quitter. I’ve quit everything from Uni degrees (two so far), courses, jobs and gyms to fiancés, jigsaw puzzles and dinner parties. You see, completing something has never really motivated me. I simply don’t care. For me it’s always about the experience. The story. What I’m enjoying, achieving and doing in that moment. Once I’ve reached a level of fulfilment in tasks, jobs and relationships, I can quit without looking back.
So in 28 days I haven’t quit and more remarkably I haven’t even thought about quitting.
I’ve lost 4 kilos and 16 centimetres, and while at times I also thought I may lose the will to live (thanks Celia, thanks edamame podding!), what I’ve gained is actually harder to quantify.
I’ve found my mojo.
Since having my daughter my corporate self has migrated to a much more casual and relaxed home-office self. This has had its drawbacks – the lack of a dress code means I haven’t tried very hard to fit into zips and buttons because I don’t have to suit up and see anyone that often. So I’m always at risk of spiralling into lazy habits – mentally and physically. Connecting honestly and openly with people is good for the soul and good for the mind. And connecting with 28-ers has lifted my game no end. I’m suiting up for me and for them.
Next month I won’t be a newbie anymore. My training wheels are off and I’ll be swimming in the pool without my floaties. I’m going to work harder with Sambo, maybe take it up a level so I don’t have time to faff around during my rests because I’ll actually be …you know…resting and catching my breath.
I know not every workout will be a winner and there will be days when I spend more time sliding around like a newborn foal* than actually exercising but I’ll turn up – to my lounge room at 6.30am except on those mornings where I’ve only been allowed to fall into uninterrupted sleep at 5am. On those mornings I’ll slug out some form of exercise by lunchtime. It’s never as effective but at least I’ll do it. I give myself props for that.
*and by newborn foal you know I mean baby elephant, but they’re much more certain on their feet so the analogy would be lost.
I might give Moonface a go. I haven’t connected with the MindPlay yet because I have a long-term fear of quiet and reflective thought. My amazing mother, who was decades ahead of her time in terms of health and nutrition, raised me in an environment where mindfulness (“meditation” as it was called back then, much like a “hack” used to be simply a “tip”) was a daily occurrence. I tuned out when I was a teenager because it wasn’t mainstream at all like it is now. And to be on the outside of mainstream when you’re a teenager is a fate worse than death. Sadly, I never really learned to tune back in. Maybe now is the time.
In September, I’ll plan better, shop less and keep my pantry stocked with the right things.
I’ll continue to cook every day. Enjoying my kitchen and creating meals from scratch is a remarkably refreshing exercise in itself.
I’ll continue to enjoy my wine because this is a program not a prison sentence and if I’m not allowed to imbibe I will lose the will to live. I was raised by honest, hard-working, red-wine drinking folk who threw raucous gatherings with the stereo pushed to the max – and that was just the Sunday breakfasts! Drinking is in my DNA. And I shan’t fight it.
And, most importantly for me, I’ll continue to write and engage in the only way I know how. With humour, passion and a good dose of kindness. I love that people want to read what I write but more importantly I love that it’s driving me to write more. My ‘drafts’ folder is filling up instead of lying dormant. I’m madly scribbling notes on my phone while waiting for my coffee, the lights to change, in line for anything. My head and my heart is full. And for me, that’s a very good sign.
So what will I be doing on my #28SpringBreak?
I can tell you what I won’t be doing.
I won’t be slacking off.
Because every day I don’t workout or eat well or make good choices about my health and wellbeing is a day I feel like a fraud. This blog and the Facebook community has become my muse and if I don’t feed it with honesty then I’m faking it. And I simply can’t respect that. In anyone. Let alone myself.